Three women with psoriasis share dating tips that works

The emotional and psychological consequences of living with a chronic visible condition like psoriasis may restrict a person from exploring dating and relationship opportunities.

Dating got a lot to do with self confidence and positive body image. If you are comfortable in your body and feel good the way you are, it makes you attractive in the eyes of others and chances of dating success sky rocket.

According to the ‘Clear About Psoriasis’ Survey, a whopping 43% of the people with psoriasis consider their skin condition a hurdle in developing and maintaining relationships.

In this blog post, we have brought some of the practical tips from real people- three women with psoriasis and a dating coach- about how to have a smooth dating journey with psoriasis.

Learning from their first-hand experiences will definitely give some clues to you.

#1 Jump in the dating pond when you are ready to swim

According to Malti Chaudhary, you don’t need to look for a dating partner just for the sake of it or just to change the relationship status of your Facebook profile.

For instance, if you are going through a flare up, give it some time to let the immune system calm down and as the symptoms get better, you are in a better position to explore dating.

Similarly, if you have been recently diagnosed with psoriasis, you will certainly need some time to get to terms with it and build a decent level of confidence so that you can handle the stares or queries that your potential date may ask without feeling hurt. 

When I met this guy over coffee and he pointed at the lesions on the arm and asked “hope it’s not contagious”, that was it for me. I never met him again because I knew he was not my type. But I really felt bad. As I have built on confidence over the years, I still don’t consider such people worth my time but now I don’t feel bad either. I just brush aside their ignorant queries off my mind immediately.

#2 Try to figure out what you are looking for

At different phases of the life, we may look for different things. For example, a young man in early 20s may be looking for a purely physical relationship and the same person when grow up, may seek a serious relationship with the possibility of leading to marriage.

So, if you have figured out what you want out of this dating exercise, you will eventually save yourself from bad experiences and heartbreaks.

Danielle was always looking for a meaningful relationship with emotional connection, but she joined a leading dating app having the reputation of a hookup app because most of the guys there were just looking for nothing but casual fun. So, almost all the guys she met on that app became uninterested in continuing with her after some time as she was not responding as they wanted.

As she was struggling with her body image issues, she blamed psoriasis as the spoiler as everyone rejected her. But, after some time, she realized that it was not psoriasis but they were just looking for different things. 

#3 Decide the right time to reveal about psoriasis

Online dating apps are one of the most preferred and convenient way to meet potential dates.

So, should you upload a photo with visible psoriasis lesions if you have facial psoriasis?

Should you specify about your skin condition in the profile bio?

Michelle Clarke, Toronto based dating and relationship coach suggest to avoid mentioning about psoriasis in the profile bio unless you have a severe psoriasis or you really want to do it because sharing your vulnerabilities upfront in the online dating pool is really not required. It would certainly give an impression that it’s a major ‘weakness’ of your personality and anyone interested in you should consider it before connecting.

Even if you are a person who doesn’t like surprises and want to make sure that psoriasis doesn’t become a deal breaker later on, it would be better to bring it to the table in one-to-one chat than writing in the profile bio.

For example, when chatting with a promising potential date, you may share a photo of your psoriasis lesions to see the response. If that person behaves childishly or just stops talking, it would be a good time saver as you can move on with other matches. However, if you receive a mature response, you are lucky!

Natasha frequently uses dating apps to connect with interesting people for friendship and dating. After a little bit of chatting, she would send a photo of a bad flare up to every potential date to test the waters. If the person on the other side is taken aback or doesn’t behave as she expect, she would simply decline or block that person. It’s her strategy to narrow down real matches who understand that the real worth of a person is skin deep.

#4 Own your condition with confidence

People affects just 2% of the population and on the top of that, majority of the affected people don’t talk about it openly. So, it should not surprise you if the potential date gives a stare at your psoriasis lesions or ask about it. They just don’t know about it and you better give them a brief rundown, highlighting its non-contagious characteristic.

If you accept your condition and looks confident in your skin, the people you meet would not consider it a big deal either. After all, in today’s world, everyone has something or the other to deal with. It’s just that your challenge is visible on the skin.

#5 The people who are not accepting to your skin are not your people

In your dating journey, you will meet people who would not practice what they preach. They would talk all good things like empathy, respect, emotional maturity and non-judgmental behavior. But the moment you tell them about psoriasis, they would either freak out or lose interest in continuing with you.

Even if they don’t say anything, you will get a clue that it didn’t go well with them.

You need to understand that they are not your people and for your own peace of mind, just get rid of them. You will eventually find your people, don’t worry about that.

#6 Practice self-love

You wish for a partner who accept you as you are, right? But before you find such a person, do you accept yourself and feel yourself lovable, worthy and attractive?

You wish for a person who love the ‘real’ you and don’t give too much to your physical appearance, but do you believe it first that your worth and true beauty has very little to do with your skin?

Psoriasis should not and does not define you or restrict you from meeting new people unless your mental block holds you back.

Remember today that self love means truly honoring everything that makes you who you are.

You are beautiful, handsome and worthy of self love.

Commit to loving yourself completely and eventually you will find people worth dating who would embrace you wholeheartedly.

Self love comes in handy when dating because sometimes I do get rejected for psoriasis (most of the times I reject guys though) and with lots of self love on my sleeve, I don’t give a damn. As they rightly say- Self love is the biggest ‘middle finger’ of all time.

#7 Consider joining a psoriasis specific dating app like Derma Cupid

If the idea of dating someone with psoriasis interests you, try DermaCupid app as you would find people with psoriasis and other skin conditions on this app who would not judge you for your skin. After all, having a partner who would understand you and can relate to your experiences will definitely make the life easier.